Boris Lynch

Boris was a mean bugger. So mean, in fact, the he just wouldn't die. His parents tried to drown him in a flour sack when he was a baby. Boris didn't die. The kids he bullied in school pushed him in front of a train. Boris didn't die. Boris was stabbed, shot, kicked, crushed, twisted, and pinched. Boris wouldn't die. An angry mob carrying torches and pitchforks tried to hang him, and Boris didn't die. To this day, Boris skulks around town, wearing his noose in defiance, waiting for the next attempt at his life...knowing that he is just too mean to die.